Nitty’s City: Where Dreams are Made, But Reality Sets In! [Updated 11-18]

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE (AND WHO CARES)?

When watching a movie, how many times have you read all of the closing credits? How many times have you thought to yourself I’m going to read through all of the closing credits one day? If you’re anything like me, then your answer is probably 0. Of course I like to see who was in the movie. The closing credits especially help me when I recognize an actor but can’t remember their name; because when it says “Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Isaac”, I’m like “O yeah that’s his name, he played McLovin!”
Considering myself your average movie-goer, I feel like there are a lot of unnecessary closing credits. Let’s take the gaffer for instance. What the hell is a “gaffer”? Now of course if you’re like the Movie Guy, you know what a gaffer is (and thanks to him, I learned that the gaffer controls the lighting). No disrespect to the gaffer, because I’m sure you’re very well qualified for your job and you gaff your heart out; but personally I’ve never watched a movie and said “You know the lighting was pretty amazing.”

I don’t want the gaffer to feel isolated and picked on so let’s go ahead and throw a few more people under my “could care less bus”. My life will be just as good (or bad) if I never see the “best boy”, “key grip”, or “hair stylist” in the closing credits. What’s the boy best at? Who’s keys is the grip gripping? I already have a barber thank you. Yes I know the key grip has nothing to do with keys, but that just shows you how much average Joes (or Nittys) care about them.

Now I know there are people in Hollywood who legitimately care about these duties. If you’re a director or producer and you’re looking for an excellent make-up artist, then you may wish to know the name of the people who did make-up for “The Lord of The Rings”. I’m sure however, that if you do serve in that capacity, you probably research or have someone else (assistant director maybe) research those people for you.
As far as theatre-viewing goes, I feel like the closing credits should include the cast, director, and producer primarily. If you want to include the entire crew in the closing credits, put it in the DVD extras. I think that’s a fair compromise. Then if you or your friend/relative are the 2nd assistant to the producer, you can view that accolade until your fancy is tickled. So instead of blazing through the credits at speeds which force me to miss some of the character roles, how about we cut the fat (not a weight joke), and scroll through the cast at a steady pace? “Bueller? Bueller?”

Welcome to Nitty’s City! Where (if you missed the title) dreams are made, but reality sets in. I would like to thank the Movieguy for allowing me to share my random thoughts (and yes they can get pretty random) on his website. I plan to challenge your psyche, stimulate your mind, and test your mettle. Actually I don’t plan on doing any of those things, but should that happen…YOU’RE WELCOME! What does it really mean to test one’s mettle anyway? But I digress.

Now of course if you’ve been a loyal listener to the show, you’d know that I originally started appearing on the show in the fall of ’09, alongside Jenny D and Rick J. Between the four of us there was banter, laughter, and of course movie reviews. I began to learn about inside jokes such as “Chef Cook”, and The Movieguy’s disdain for The Twilight “Saga”. Yes this past fall/winter was good to me.

My first summer on Standing Room Only really served as an awakening of sorts for me. In Rick J and Jenny D’s absence I really came out of my proverbial shell (did I really need to note the proverb? would you think I really had a shell if I didn’t?). The Movieguy and I really began to click. I don’t mean click in just the, we had a lot of back-and-forth or smooth transition sort of way. I mean click in the, we would have the same thoughts at the same time (get out my brain), we shared a plethora of inside jokes (Team Edwaaard!), and yes I think if we really wanted to, we could probably finish some of each others lines. We became a movie show machine (can you say Matrix?)

This summer we talked about any and everything. There was no limit, nor was there any holding us back. We talked about everything from running daylights on cars, to Curb Your Enthusiasm, to stand-up comedy specials. We even talked about Kevin Bacon…yea the guy from Footloose. Oh and we also found time to occasionally review movies.

We learned all kinds of things this summer. We learned about rickshaws on Main Street, and we learned that Gary Busey has a black belt in multiple martial arts. We even learned about the meteorological phenomenon known as Tropospheric Ducting (don’t believe us? check the website)! But the one most important thing I think we did learn this summer is that:

WE ARE PROFESSIONALS!